There are obvious killers of dreams like the haters, naysayers, and petty people who will try to bring you down. We’ve shown you how to handle these people like a boss without losing one single diamond on your crown.

But what about hidden dream killers?

The ones that are so silent that if you blinked, you’d miss them. So under the radar that even if you were to catch a glance, you’d question your sanity or brush it off as paranoia.

Silent dream killers are deadly because they’re not immediately obvious if you’re not paying close attention. They often come disguised as opportunities and good intentions.

But at the end of the day, very smart people with very good jobs end up at fifty, sixty, or even seventy years old filled with loads of regret. During their retirement they wonder why they never went after something more meaningful and soul-filling than a 9-to-5 that was really only just a way to pay the bills.

We don’t want that to be you.

Here at Trés Fleek, we’re into ambition on fleek. Meaning we believe in crushing our goals and rising to the top no matter what’s standing in the way.

We’re not here to be average or mediocre. And since you’re on TresFleek.com right now, it’s safe to say that’s not what you want from life either. You’re reading this right now because you’re all about reaching your peak potential. Falling down, getting up, and doing it all over again until you get to where you want to be. No BS and no “shoulda coulda woulda” excuses.

Getting to where you want to be is possible. Really. But it takes a different kind of mindset. A mindset that 99% of us were not born with.

It’s a mentality that can be developed though. And we’re laying it all out for you below.

So without further ado, let’s discover these silent dream killers (and stop them dead in their tracks before they stop you).

Killer Number 1: Being a fixer

We know this is a big shocker for many. You want to be there for the people you love and care about. If you know something or can contribute in some way, you want to help fix the problem.

And one-off things here and there are totally understandable. But the people coming back to you time and time again to guilt you into fixing things on their behalf are energy vampires. They’re being selfish and needy by expecting you to drop everything you’re doing and focus on solving their issues.

Because they hit you with the guilty stick (“No one else can do this like you can!” or “Come on, it’ll just take a second”), you’re not fully aware of the game they’re playing. You get so focused on fixing their problems that, at the end of the day, there’s nothing left for you to give to yourself.

How to stop it:

This one’s tricky. These people are often among your nearest and dearest after all. Whether it’s your friend, your family member, your significant other, or your manager, you want to give them your best because you love and care about them.

But how can you help others if you have no time and energy left to recharge yourself?

Exactly. You can’t. Instead, beat this silent killer with the following tactics:

1. Boomerang it: Sick and tired of people who ask for your advice but discard it immediately? Flip the script on them and put the question right back in their court.

Next time they ask you to fix something, respond with:

“If I were asking you that question, what would your advice be for me?”

If they cop out and say “I dunno”, then you say “Well, hell! I dunno either!”

If they keep persisting (and they probably will), ask “What have you thought about doing to fix this?” or “If this problem persisted for the next 5 years, how would you deal with it?”

This method works because it takes pressure off you to be a fixer and instead plants the responsibility directly back in their lap. You’re still talking to them and being the encouraging sounding board you want to be, but you’re setting a subtle boundary to signal that their problem is ultimately not yours to fix.

2. Don’t fix for free: Tried being nice about it without any success? Have a friend who’s still asking you (just one too many times) to “fix” her love life, career, weight, or whatever? Then here’s a strategy to really kick it up a notch.

Simply say “I love giving advice to help you out. But I’ve noticed that anytime I offer free advice, no one really takes action. So from now on, if you want my advice, you’re gonna have to pay me.” Have an hourly rate in mind when you say this.

Will they look at you like you’re cray cray? Umm yes. And let’s be honest, it is a bit out there. But soon enough they’ll get the memo that your time (and your needs) are just as important, and they’ll learn to respect your boundaries. Or who knows, maybe they do value your advice and time enough to actually start paying you to be their personal life coach (and that means problems solved for them and extra money for you–kaching!).

Killer Number 2: Accepting Last Minute Requests

If you’re adhering to the Trés Fleek Guide To Crushing Your Goals, you know that focusing on just 1-2 goals per day will help keep you on track (and get you where you want to be fast). [Sign up here to get your FREE copy of The Trés Fleek Guide To Crushing Your Goals] 

Just setting those goals isn’t enough though–you need to set aside time to focus on them too.

But why is it that every time you try to buckle down and focus on your goals for the day, someone tries to interrupt you?

All of a sudden your boss wants you to stay an extra hour at work, your significant other wants to do a last minute romantic dinner, your friends want to do happy hour, or your brother wants to talk to you about an urgent matter.

Last minute requests are tricky because in the moment they seem easy enough to honor. And you do truly want to see those around you succeed.

• It’s just an hour, you rationalize when your boss asks you stay. Even though you planned on working on your email newsletter for your blog subscribers.

• Aww he’s being sweet, you say when your significant other unexpectedly turns into Prince Charming. Even though you were planning on hitting the gym for a couple of hours tonight.

• I haven’t seen them in a while, you say when you friends ask to meet up the same day for a happy hour. Even though you’ve got a speaking engagement to prepare for (and nowhere near enough time to prepare for it).

• Aww..he’s opening up to me, you think when your brother calls you out of the blue and wants your advice ASAP. Even though today is the day you were planning on shooting that tutorial video for your YouTube channel.

What you may not realize though is that there are severe costs for making nice and appeasing last minute requests, even if you think you can just pick up right where you left off.

It’s what we call the Start-Stop-Start Seesaw.

The Start-Stop-Start Seesaw

In the beginning of working on your dreams, you’ve got high levels of motivation. You’re making boss-level progress day by day, slowly but surely. So when you get blindsided by a last minute request, especially if it’s made by someone who’s important to you, you feel obligated to accept it, regardless of what else you’ve got going on. You’ve made so much progress already so surely you have some time to spare, right?

After you’ve finished giving them your time and energy, you go straight back to crushing those goals. No harm done, right?

Sadly that’s not the case.

In fact, it takes a long time to get that initial momentum back to where it was before you were interrupted. You find yourself spending lots of energy trying to figure out exactly where it was you left off and get back into your state of flow. What’s more, expending all this energy just trying to get back up to speed is really making it tough to fight off bouts of procrastination.

And that’s how the Start-Stop-Start Seesaw works.

One minute you’re on a roll, then a last-minute request comes in and steals your focus, only to force you to work that much harder to get your momentum up again.

The problem with being on the Start-Stop-Start Seesaw is that it prevents you from moving forward and achieving any of the real results you’re after (i.e., money in the bank, weight loss, etc.). How?

You can’t take consistent, concentrated action because you’re expending all of your energy by being Miss Nicey Nice. To top it off, now it will take you two or three times longer to build your dreams than if you just had sucked it up and said “no” to all last minute plans.

How to stop it:

Our advice? Don’t get suckered into last minute requests to begin with. Here’s how to say no without feeling like you’re just being selfish:

Until you’ve checked two major tasks off your daily To Do list, last minute requests get the “Aww, I wish I could but I already made plans” response.

They may throw a fit, and they make try to poke holes in your priorities. But you have to stay true to yourself and hold your ground.

To soften the blow, suggest another time when you will be available (and not in your zone of focus). For example:

“Dangit! I already have plans at that time. I’m free on Monday at 8 if that works for you.”

When you say no and counter with an alternative time, it prevents any hurt feelings, gives you the mental space to focus on your dreams, and lets you be there for those you love when it suits you best. Win-win-win!

Killer Number 3: Too Much Information

This one’s so sneaky that most people don’t even recognize that it’s a dream killer. But it is.

In fact there’s a term for this: infobesity. Infobesity is the process of consuming too information, resulting in information overload.

In this day and age, information is king, and there’s never a shortage of it. However, you can still have too much of a good thing even when it comes to information–and it can lead to some pretty nasty consequences.

Things like:

• Difficulty sleeping (too much on the mind)
• Anxiety of not being able to do it all
• Depression
• Little to no productivity
• Low self-esteem
• Lack of clarity and focus

And that’s just a list of some of the “minor” symptoms. Some studies even suggest that our information-obsessed culture can lead to long-term illnesses. Not your best look, girl.

Now don’t get us wrong: here at Trés Fleek, we’re all about learning new things and staying in the loop because we believe education leads to freedom. However, just consuming information for the sake of consumption alone (or, let’s face it, because you’re bored) is like signing up for a 10K run but sitting on the couch come race day.

You’re not gonna get anywhere.

How to stop it:

The simple solution to all of this is to force yourself to act on what you read. When you consume information, especially as you’re trying to hustle to the top, make it a priority to act on an idea after you’ve read about it.

For example:

If you’ve read our 4 “No Website Needed” Ways To Make An Extra $10,000 This Year, then you know there is a ton of information within that article, and a lot to choose from, right?

We recommend you pick one of those tips and act on it within 24 hours.

If you like our blueprint for being a fashion and beauty consultant for example, then go to the “How to Find Customers” section, choose one thing from that list, and act on it within 24 hours.

The cure to infobesity (and obesity in general for that matter) is movement. When you sit around consuming, it does nothing for your bank account (or waistline). Instead it just takes up space in your brain. You also can’t act on everything you read though, meaning you’ll have to start being picky and choosy about what info you decide to take in. But when the end result is that you get to your goals faster, it’s worth it.

So go get moving (and we mean now!).

Stay Alert, Stay Focused

Going full speed ahead on your dreams takes a lot of mental focus. You will have obstacles coming at you from every which way to divert your attention.

Don’t take the bait!

Remember, ten, twenty, and even thirty years from now, you want to look back at your life proudly and say “I built this! I did this!” not “Why didn’t I make time for that?”

Know that you’ll face obstacles along the way, but don’t give them your precious time and energy. Stay alert and stay focused on your end game.  Your future self will thank you.